This series of posts has quickly become an interesting exercise for me as I think back on those men who have helped shape and mold me into the man I am today. Even at my age I find that there are men that continue to influence me. One of the questions that keeps popping up in my mind is "am I making an impact on those men that are in my circle of influence?" I feel that if we can influence other men for the better, that this is a great legacy.
A man who made a great impact on my life in a very short period of time was an Assistant Scoutmaster of my Boy Scout troop. I was a Boy Scout from about age 9 through age 12. The man I am speaking of is Ken Ray. Again, a name you will probably not recognize. In fact if you google his name and add the tag, Springdale, Arkansas you will find little if any information. I am recalling events from almost fifty years ago, so I will try my best to remember all I can about Ken.
Ken grew up in southwestern Arkansas near DeQueen, Arkansas. He was different from the other kids he grew up with in that he was born without arms. He had a single finger, like your pointer that grew from his right shoulder area. This finger had a muscle just like your arm has a muscle. I had read a newspaper article forty some years ago about Ken as a football player at DeQueen High School. He was a barefooted kicker and had become a great field goal kicker and had helped his team win many games.
As I recall Ken was probably in his early twenties when he was our scout leader. He always wore flip flops or slip on sandals so that his feet could be readily available. Most of the time he wore shorts. I can remember that he was a smoker in those days (I am sure he no longer has that habit) and that he had carved a long stick with a hole in the end that would hold a cigarette tightly. Ken would grab the pack out of his shirt pocket with his teeth and shake the pack till a cigarette would pop out and he could slip the stick over the cigarette. He then would produce a fire via a lighter with his feet and light his cigarette. I mention this to show that the guy was amazing in his creativity in overcoming his handicap.
A time I will never forget involved our troop going on a weekend survival camp out. We could only bring Bisquick as our food for the weekend. I am not sure why Bisquick was chosen but that was the case. Our bags were searched and a large cache of candy and other contraband were confiscated and we were off to the woods. Early Saturday morning we awakened with one goal....to find food for our survival. I had a few of my fellow scouts who found a pigeons nest in a barn and they robbed the eggs and made pancakes with the Bisquick. Others raided a farmers garden for fresh tomatoes and other veggies.
We were paired up with another scout to work together to search for our food. I can remember kids with bows and arrows (nothing like the ones available today) and they were trying to shoot squirrels. This was truly an exercise in futility. I think the squirrels were probably rolling in the leaves laughing at these crazy kids. I was blessed that day in that we did not have an even number of scouts and I was paired with Ken Ray. I experienced something that day that I shall never forget. Ken had a fly rod and we were camped on a river that weekend. So Ken and I headed to the river. I will try to explain as best I can how he was able to fish with a fly rod. He would hold the rod with the finger protruding from his right shoulder and he would strip line with his teeth. He could flip the fly rod with the finger and after stripping out enough line, he could reach the center of the stream with his fly.
In a short amount of time, Ken began hooking large bream and I found out my reason for being there. He could take off his own fish but it would take him some time and it was difficult for him to put them on a stringer. So that day I did not even cast my line into the water. I took off fish after fish for Ken and put them on the stringer. We headed back to camp and used the Bisquick to make a breading for the fish and had ourselves a feast. I had a great time and I guess the real thing I received from Ken was that we should never let our handicap keep us from living our lives to the fullest. I also learned that we should never give up when life deals us a tough hand. Ken could have given up at an early age and never enjoyed all that life has in store for us. I watched Ken over the next year or so shoot a bean flip and hit targets consistently (with his feet). He could turkey hunt with a crossbow (again using his feet) as he called the turkeys with his mouth. He could also shoot a shotgun with his feet.
Ken went on to receive a degree and the last I heard he was a social worker in Northwest Arkansas and he drives a car just like we do. I had the privilege of attending the same church with Ken when I lived in Northwest Arkansas. Ken married, had children and I would say he has lived life to it's fullest. I think Ken probably had choices to make as a young boy. Either quit and let others take care of him or ignore his handicap and get on with living. I think one of the things I took from my time around Ken was that whatever situation we find ourselves in (Cancer,etc.) that we should live our lives as normally as possible. We should not quit and give up and go home. It is really hard to keep your chin up when things are tough but I can always think back to Ken Ray, flipping a fly rod with his finger, or shooting a turkey with a shotgun (using only his feet) and I can say, I can do this....I will not give up...I will persevere through this ordeal.
Ken is a devout man and I am sure he would say with me "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". Thanks Ken..
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Men who changed my life.....
As a man who is growing older, I have a little more time on my hands to think about life and the influences that we encounter that help shape us as men. My own life was probably most impacted by men that I was fortunate enough to be around as I grew up and as I grew older. I will be sixty years old in a few days and I can say that even at my advanced age I still find that I am being affected by other men.
I felt it would be a good exercise to think about the men who have most influenced my life. I had planned to make this a single post with all of those men who influenced my life being on a list, but as I began writing I realized it would be several pages long, so I will try to do a post each day and share a little more detail about each man.
It is only fitting that today's post be about my first spiritual mentor. I hope you enjoy these posts. The Reverend Devoe Whitely of Springdale, Arkansas is the first name that comes to mind as I reflect on the men who truly influenced my life. This name will not ring a bell with most readers as they probably don't know anyone named Devoe. Devoe was my first pastor. He and his wife Lula Bell (bet you don't know many Lula Bell's either) served at Immanuel Baptist Church in Springdale, Arkansas.
I can't really remember the first time I attended church but I think probably my mom took me to church as an infant. I can remember that when I was six or seven years old that Lula Bell would let several of the younger kids sit on the front row of the church with her at every service. I can remember her large arms (she and Devoe were both very large people) wrapped around the little children as Devoe expounded his sermons that we did not understand at all. The little children always felt loved after being around Devoe and Lula Bell.
I mentioned that Devoe and Lula Bell were large people and they truly were. Devoe did not miss many meals and anyone that grew up in the Baptist Church in the late 1900's can attest that there was nothing spared at the pot luck suppers. Devoe loved people and he loved to dine with them. I can never remember seeing Devoe without a suit. I can remember a particular suit he wore from time to time. It was all white and he would wear a colorful shirt and tie with the suit. The one thing I remember in particular was that he also wore multi-color shoes. As I recall the shoes were brown with white on the upper portion of the shoes. Devoe stood out in a crowd because of his size and his wardrobe. Devoe had a booming voice from the pulpit. He never shy ed away from difficult subjects. He preached against sin and sinful lifestyles. I can remember a few times that my family had roast preacher for lunch, after one of Devoe's sermons happened to be very harsh and stepped on a few toes. My dad did not always agree with some of the tactics Devoe employed to raise money for a particular need but it seems he got over it rather quickly. Devoe did preach the Bible as he read it and interpreted it. He was a burly man but gentle and caring especially with the little children. He always spoke at our Vacation Bible School service each day. One morning he said something that directed me towards Christ and as a nine year old boy I began a relationship with Christ that continues even today. I can remember that when a child came seeking to know more about salvation, Devoe would take time with each individual child and many times Lula Bell would assist. I can remember when I went home that day that I could not wait to run and tell my friends and family about what had happened to me. I would love to have taped that experience to look back on but I only have my memory.
A few days later I was baptized by Devoe and it is a day I shall never forget. If you asked me to tell you about one of Devoe's sermons, I could not. Though I sat under his preaching from a very young age and until my early teenage years I cannot recall one sermon or one topic that he preached. I can tell you that he lived what he preached. He lived the Bible out loud and no one doubted his love of God. He and Lula Bell helped provide a firm foundation for my faith. They really loved people and they let you know that they loved you. I am thankful that they loved the little children.
A few years after leaving the church (I am not sure why we left) I asked Devoe to officiate my wedding. He had made such an impact on my life that I wanted him to be the man who joined Sharon and I in marriage. You could say that Devoe was an "old-time" preacher and you would be correct. You might say that he was "old school" and you would also be right. One thing that is also true is that when a person invests themselves in the lives of little children, those children's lives will forever be changed and this was true in my case. I also believe that Devoe and Lula Bell are in the arms of Jesus today and will enjoy great rewards in heavens because of their love of the little children.
Devoe was my first spiritual mentor and I thank he and Lula Bell for loving me and drawing me to the Savior. I know that my faith would not be what it is today had I not grown up in Springdale, Arkansas and attended Immanuel Baptist Church and started my faith journey under the guidance of Devoe and Lula Bell. Again I thank this dear, sweet couple for loving the little children.
I felt it would be a good exercise to think about the men who have most influenced my life. I had planned to make this a single post with all of those men who influenced my life being on a list, but as I began writing I realized it would be several pages long, so I will try to do a post each day and share a little more detail about each man.
It is only fitting that today's post be about my first spiritual mentor. I hope you enjoy these posts. The Reverend Devoe Whitely of Springdale, Arkansas is the first name that comes to mind as I reflect on the men who truly influenced my life. This name will not ring a bell with most readers as they probably don't know anyone named Devoe. Devoe was my first pastor. He and his wife Lula Bell (bet you don't know many Lula Bell's either) served at Immanuel Baptist Church in Springdale, Arkansas.
I can't really remember the first time I attended church but I think probably my mom took me to church as an infant. I can remember that when I was six or seven years old that Lula Bell would let several of the younger kids sit on the front row of the church with her at every service. I can remember her large arms (she and Devoe were both very large people) wrapped around the little children as Devoe expounded his sermons that we did not understand at all. The little children always felt loved after being around Devoe and Lula Bell.
I mentioned that Devoe and Lula Bell were large people and they truly were. Devoe did not miss many meals and anyone that grew up in the Baptist Church in the late 1900's can attest that there was nothing spared at the pot luck suppers. Devoe loved people and he loved to dine with them. I can never remember seeing Devoe without a suit. I can remember a particular suit he wore from time to time. It was all white and he would wear a colorful shirt and tie with the suit. The one thing I remember in particular was that he also wore multi-color shoes. As I recall the shoes were brown with white on the upper portion of the shoes. Devoe stood out in a crowd because of his size and his wardrobe. Devoe had a booming voice from the pulpit. He never shy ed away from difficult subjects. He preached against sin and sinful lifestyles. I can remember a few times that my family had roast preacher for lunch, after one of Devoe's sermons happened to be very harsh and stepped on a few toes. My dad did not always agree with some of the tactics Devoe employed to raise money for a particular need but it seems he got over it rather quickly. Devoe did preach the Bible as he read it and interpreted it. He was a burly man but gentle and caring especially with the little children. He always spoke at our Vacation Bible School service each day. One morning he said something that directed me towards Christ and as a nine year old boy I began a relationship with Christ that continues even today. I can remember that when a child came seeking to know more about salvation, Devoe would take time with each individual child and many times Lula Bell would assist. I can remember when I went home that day that I could not wait to run and tell my friends and family about what had happened to me. I would love to have taped that experience to look back on but I only have my memory.
A few days later I was baptized by Devoe and it is a day I shall never forget. If you asked me to tell you about one of Devoe's sermons, I could not. Though I sat under his preaching from a very young age and until my early teenage years I cannot recall one sermon or one topic that he preached. I can tell you that he lived what he preached. He lived the Bible out loud and no one doubted his love of God. He and Lula Bell helped provide a firm foundation for my faith. They really loved people and they let you know that they loved you. I am thankful that they loved the little children.
A few years after leaving the church (I am not sure why we left) I asked Devoe to officiate my wedding. He had made such an impact on my life that I wanted him to be the man who joined Sharon and I in marriage. You could say that Devoe was an "old-time" preacher and you would be correct. You might say that he was "old school" and you would also be right. One thing that is also true is that when a person invests themselves in the lives of little children, those children's lives will forever be changed and this was true in my case. I also believe that Devoe and Lula Bell are in the arms of Jesus today and will enjoy great rewards in heavens because of their love of the little children.
Devoe was my first spiritual mentor and I thank he and Lula Bell for loving me and drawing me to the Savior. I know that my faith would not be what it is today had I not grown up in Springdale, Arkansas and attended Immanuel Baptist Church and started my faith journey under the guidance of Devoe and Lula Bell. Again I thank this dear, sweet couple for loving the little children.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
A dreaded medical saga...
Dear Friends,
You will note that it has been some months since my last post. My last post concerned where we were in our battle with cancer. It was written after six months of treatments and a whirlwind of medical activity. I chose to wait until additional time had passed and many more scans/etc had occurred before giving you any sort of medical update.
Since my last post I developed an infection in my lung that resulted from chemo actually destroying a tumor on the lung, leaving for lack of a better word...a hole in my lung. An infection developed resulting in a horrible daily cough, fluid build up on the lung, fever and in general just a continual horrible feeling. I could not walk fifty feet without losing my breath. I could not carry on a lengthy conversation as I would not be able to breathe. If you followed my caring bridge posts you know that I had surgery and an eight day stay in the hospital as a result of the infection. I am happy to report that the surgery was very successful and I am kind of back to a normal life and feeling great.
It is interesting though that during my hospital stay I was administered a catheter to assist me during surgery and recovery. I actually had the catheter for four days and I sensed that something was not right but the nurses kept telling me to look at the bag connected to the catheter and that it indeed was working. I never really contested that it was working but my contention was that it was very uncomfortable and something did not seem right. After four days I had a nurse who did not like me come by to remove the dastardly device and during extraction I think she did not deflate the balloon (they tell me this is very important) or she simply was not gentle as I came off the bed about two feet screaming out in pain as it was removed.
Being a novice at these sorts of things I did not realize that things were not quite right after the removal. I was very, very sore and always felt pain during urination. I began to express this discomfort but all the medical professionals told me that this was normal and that I would soon feel better. Well after a couple of weeks and much misery, I made an appointment with my primary care physician and he could not find any infection of the urinary tract etc. He did perform the test that men really enjoy (the digital exam of the prostate gland) and thankfully nothing was wrong. He also ran a PSA test and it too was negative. So in the midst of the pain and suffering, we were thankful that all was ok in regard to the prostate. My doctor then made an appointment for me with a urologist. This gave me much to think about for the next week as I recalled all the horror stories that I had heard all my life about urologists and the tools of their trade. At the same time I was suffering from severe fatigue as I had not had a full nights sleep in over six weeks. My bladder could not empty itself so I was up every two hours for six weeks and this was absolute misery.
My visit to the urologist confirmed that my bladder was not emptying and that we had to find out why. This led to the discussion of what I knew was coming....the test is called a cystoscopy. It is sort of like a colonoscopy except the orifice for entry of the urologists tools is much smaller that that of the gastroenterologist. Of course I thought of all the pain that I might suffer and I requested that twilight sedation be administered. The good doctor explained that they do not have this type of sedation available and that a local antestetic would be used. A lotion would be used that would deaden the area. If this truly worked I would think the area would be dead forever. I really did not feel confident in all this but I agreed to have the test the next week. Before departing the urologists office he insisted that we should check the prostate gland. I assured him that I had just had this test but he felt that he should make sure this area was ok. So we suffered this humility a second time in two weeks.
The week flew by and I am back in the doctors office and he has a wide array of tools available for the test. To make a scary story short....none of the tools could penetrate the restriction that was causing my problem. He assured me that he could break through but I would suffer great pain. He then scheduled me for the same procedure (the cystoscopy) at the hospital the next day. He said it would be the same procedure but that I would receive full sedation. I was thankful as I was never comfortable with the numbing lotion. The results of the tests were very good as my doctor agreed with my diagnosis of the catheter damage being the problem. I think I need to sue someone for this damage but I am so relieved to be back to normal that I have no malice in my heart. It is as if I have been given my freedom once again. As I told someone today....I am FREE...for I can PEE.
It has barely been twenty-four hours since the procedure and I am almost back to normal. The plumbing is once again working and I will never ever take for granted this vital function. I slept all night and in fact awoke at 6 AM this morning and was out of bed....a first for me since my surgery. I am feeling great and looking forward to maybe getting out on the golf course. As always I want to thank you for your faithful prayers for us as we know we would not have made it without you. I also wanted to tell my good friend Bob that while you attempted via various means to humble me that where you failed the medical community has succeeded. I am a humble man as every part of my body has now been examined. I truly am thankful to the docs and nurses for helping me through this latest adventure. I am feeling great today and am thankful for the time off my oncologist has given me. Sharon and I are going to make a trip pretty quickly to celebrate. Thanks again for your friendship.
You will note that it has been some months since my last post. My last post concerned where we were in our battle with cancer. It was written after six months of treatments and a whirlwind of medical activity. I chose to wait until additional time had passed and many more scans/etc had occurred before giving you any sort of medical update.
Since my last post I developed an infection in my lung that resulted from chemo actually destroying a tumor on the lung, leaving for lack of a better word...a hole in my lung. An infection developed resulting in a horrible daily cough, fluid build up on the lung, fever and in general just a continual horrible feeling. I could not walk fifty feet without losing my breath. I could not carry on a lengthy conversation as I would not be able to breathe. If you followed my caring bridge posts you know that I had surgery and an eight day stay in the hospital as a result of the infection. I am happy to report that the surgery was very successful and I am kind of back to a normal life and feeling great.
It is interesting though that during my hospital stay I was administered a catheter to assist me during surgery and recovery. I actually had the catheter for four days and I sensed that something was not right but the nurses kept telling me to look at the bag connected to the catheter and that it indeed was working. I never really contested that it was working but my contention was that it was very uncomfortable and something did not seem right. After four days I had a nurse who did not like me come by to remove the dastardly device and during extraction I think she did not deflate the balloon (they tell me this is very important) or she simply was not gentle as I came off the bed about two feet screaming out in pain as it was removed.
Being a novice at these sorts of things I did not realize that things were not quite right after the removal. I was very, very sore and always felt pain during urination. I began to express this discomfort but all the medical professionals told me that this was normal and that I would soon feel better. Well after a couple of weeks and much misery, I made an appointment with my primary care physician and he could not find any infection of the urinary tract etc. He did perform the test that men really enjoy (the digital exam of the prostate gland) and thankfully nothing was wrong. He also ran a PSA test and it too was negative. So in the midst of the pain and suffering, we were thankful that all was ok in regard to the prostate. My doctor then made an appointment for me with a urologist. This gave me much to think about for the next week as I recalled all the horror stories that I had heard all my life about urologists and the tools of their trade. At the same time I was suffering from severe fatigue as I had not had a full nights sleep in over six weeks. My bladder could not empty itself so I was up every two hours for six weeks and this was absolute misery.
My visit to the urologist confirmed that my bladder was not emptying and that we had to find out why. This led to the discussion of what I knew was coming....the test is called a cystoscopy. It is sort of like a colonoscopy except the orifice for entry of the urologists tools is much smaller that that of the gastroenterologist. Of course I thought of all the pain that I might suffer and I requested that twilight sedation be administered. The good doctor explained that they do not have this type of sedation available and that a local antestetic would be used. A lotion would be used that would deaden the area. If this truly worked I would think the area would be dead forever. I really did not feel confident in all this but I agreed to have the test the next week. Before departing the urologists office he insisted that we should check the prostate gland. I assured him that I had just had this test but he felt that he should make sure this area was ok. So we suffered this humility a second time in two weeks.
The week flew by and I am back in the doctors office and he has a wide array of tools available for the test. To make a scary story short....none of the tools could penetrate the restriction that was causing my problem. He assured me that he could break through but I would suffer great pain. He then scheduled me for the same procedure (the cystoscopy) at the hospital the next day. He said it would be the same procedure but that I would receive full sedation. I was thankful as I was never comfortable with the numbing lotion. The results of the tests were very good as my doctor agreed with my diagnosis of the catheter damage being the problem. I think I need to sue someone for this damage but I am so relieved to be back to normal that I have no malice in my heart. It is as if I have been given my freedom once again. As I told someone today....I am FREE...for I can PEE.
It has barely been twenty-four hours since the procedure and I am almost back to normal. The plumbing is once again working and I will never ever take for granted this vital function. I slept all night and in fact awoke at 6 AM this morning and was out of bed....a first for me since my surgery. I am feeling great and looking forward to maybe getting out on the golf course. As always I want to thank you for your faithful prayers for us as we know we would not have made it without you. I also wanted to tell my good friend Bob that while you attempted via various means to humble me that where you failed the medical community has succeeded. I am a humble man as every part of my body has now been examined. I truly am thankful to the docs and nurses for helping me through this latest adventure. I am feeling great today and am thankful for the time off my oncologist has given me. Sharon and I are going to make a trip pretty quickly to celebrate. Thanks again for your friendship.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Update on The Next Chapter
I restarted my blog when I found out that I had cancer. According to the Doctor it is incurable cancer. I felt like this was the beginning of a new chapter in the life of Sharon and Doug Baskin. This chapter began in June. It has been three months since this chapter began and I felt that it might be a good time to share with you the status or an update on where we are in this chapter.
Three months ago I had to have a waste basket near me at all times because I was coughing up blood. I could not safely drive because I might experience a coughing fit and find myself unable to control a car. I could not attend church services or even my small group gatherings because of the coughing fits and pain from the cancer. I tried to work but could not last more than an hour due to fatigue. I was either in bed or my recliner 24/7. Most of the time it was the bed so I could use my cpap machine to aid my breathing. I could not walk up the stairs from the basement without stopping to catch my breath. I walked around the house in order to have the shortest incline to traverse to get into the house. I had only certain foods that I could tolerate and my cravings were for some very strange dishes. Now I don't know of any food that I can't tolerate and the quantities and frequency of my partaking of these dishes has increased. My weight dropped from about 220 to 178 three months ago. At my height the 178 was more desirable but the means to drop the weight is not for the best. My weight today was 194. I can almost comfortably wear my old slacks today. My left lung was full of fluid and today none exists. Three months ago we could not think about going to a restaurant to eat and now we eat out three times a week or more with no problem. I had hair three months ago and now I barely have any.....but I can live with that as my hair was not one of my better features.
My doctor was ecstatic about my progress the past two visits and while he did not comment on my prognosis he was very pleased with the impact the chemo had on my cancer. He also credited the Good Lord for His part in my progress. This all leads me to where my mind has been this week. For the past few weeks I have been so excited about my improved condition. I was able to work full days and just really have been feeling great. I would find that I could forget about the cancer for hours each day at work. I found that I would be planning for events months out as if I knew I would be able to participate. I was living my life as if the cancer did not exist and I could do about what I wanted and not worry about any limitations the disease might present.
Yesterday I began to have a reality check. My mind was full of negative thoughts about my disease and my prognosis. Who was I kidding?? At any moment this cancer was going to rear it's ugly head and end my euphoric feelings. I had a struggle all day at work..(somehow I was able to function pretty good despite these intervening thoughts) with where I was and what I would be facing in the future. Fear entered the thought process and I began to worry about the unknown things I would face in the days ahead. It took a lot of soul searching and deep thinking to settle this issue I was battling.
I realized that my disease is incurable by modern medical means. Any progress I experienced was a combination of medical treatment (as my Dr. said) and the Good Lord having His hand on my shoulder. The lady I work with pointed out to me today that we are all terminal and it is just a matter of when and by what means we will leave this world. All of us will not live to be full of years and die a peaceful death. Some will die young, some will die by means we deem to be unfair...the point being we all will die, but we do not know when. As a man of faith I am told in the Bible that it is better to die and be with Jesus than to live on this earth. I am also told that I have a purpose and I will not leave this world until that purpose is accomplished. If I desire to not fulfill my purpose for this life then perhaps I will end my time on earth prematurely? I don't know all the answers but I know my days are numbered as are yours. Each of us has an appointed time to die and we cannot control this time. To believe otherwise is to believe that we all live and die by chance. We live longer if we are very careful and don't put ourselves in risky situations (why then do we drive cars?).
So where am I today after all this deep thinking, etc. I went to the Doctor today and he insisted that I attend a cancer support gathering tomorrow to be attended by many survivors and many battling the disease today. He said that I should go if for no other reason than to give others hope because of my progress. He kind of planted a seed in my mind that this may be my purpose in having this disease. To help others who are fighting cancer and to give them hope. The Bible tells us that we may suffer so that we can help others later on who suffer from the same malady. I have always believed this. I have known people who lost a spouse at an early age who later helped others through this same tragedy. I also know that I have heard from people everywhere about my disease and how I am doing etc. and I have blown their minds with my faith and attitude about where I am in this journey. Most are surprised that I am not camped out at the Mayo Clinic or M.D. Anderson in order to get cutting edge medical treatment. I answer them with the fact that I had a peace about my great Doctors and Nurses at Longstreet Clinic and feel they are giving me the best treatment. This peace came from my Father in Heaven who directs my steps and leads me down the path He chooses. My strength and my improvement comes from God. He may use my Doctors and the meds to aid in this, but it is His choice that I have improved. My purpose is to tell others what is happening and to maintain my optimism and my faith even if things turn for the worst.
The bottom line is I really don't know what will happen tomorrow or next week. It truly is a one day at a time situation. I must rejoice each day that I can get up and feel pretty good. I must thank Him that I can go to work and play a meaningful role in our business and be of service to those I work with and for. I should have praise always on the tip of my tongue that I can drive to work and go to a restaurant when I desire...that I can attend church and gather with my friends. I should overflow with happiness that I have been able to spend quality time with my family the past few weeks. As I consider my blessings the fact that I can sit and write this blog (of great length) should bring joy to my being. God has blessed this old man, riddled with cancer and not given a great prognosis. I have been blessed beyond measure. If I should leave this world next week, I can say that I have seen the Lord do a mighty work in my life during this new chapter.
As many have said in the past..."Cancer is the worst thing that has ever happened to my but it is the best thing that has ever happened to me." I can truly say this though I am not sure I would want to face this disease if I had a choice. I can truly say the past three months of this new chapter have been full of a variety of emotions, of discouragement and more importantly it has been full of victories. I say thank you first to the Lord for His hand on me through this ordeal. I thank my family (especially Sharon) for being there for me each moment. For my friends as you have been a great encouragement to me and especially for your prayers that go up for us each day. I thank my employer for standing by us through this time and all those I work with for taking up the slack in my absence and finally to the Doctors and Nurses at Longstreet clinic for caring for me and doing all they can to make me comfortable and give us hope. It will be interesting to see an update three months from now. I have no idea where I will be or how I will be but I think I can say that I will be where God chooses and I will know that it is His will and I will be satisfied that I am doing what I should be to fulfill my purpose for the rest of my days.
Three months ago I had to have a waste basket near me at all times because I was coughing up blood. I could not safely drive because I might experience a coughing fit and find myself unable to control a car. I could not attend church services or even my small group gatherings because of the coughing fits and pain from the cancer. I tried to work but could not last more than an hour due to fatigue. I was either in bed or my recliner 24/7. Most of the time it was the bed so I could use my cpap machine to aid my breathing. I could not walk up the stairs from the basement without stopping to catch my breath. I walked around the house in order to have the shortest incline to traverse to get into the house. I had only certain foods that I could tolerate and my cravings were for some very strange dishes. Now I don't know of any food that I can't tolerate and the quantities and frequency of my partaking of these dishes has increased. My weight dropped from about 220 to 178 three months ago. At my height the 178 was more desirable but the means to drop the weight is not for the best. My weight today was 194. I can almost comfortably wear my old slacks today. My left lung was full of fluid and today none exists. Three months ago we could not think about going to a restaurant to eat and now we eat out three times a week or more with no problem. I had hair three months ago and now I barely have any.....but I can live with that as my hair was not one of my better features.
My doctor was ecstatic about my progress the past two visits and while he did not comment on my prognosis he was very pleased with the impact the chemo had on my cancer. He also credited the Good Lord for His part in my progress. This all leads me to where my mind has been this week. For the past few weeks I have been so excited about my improved condition. I was able to work full days and just really have been feeling great. I would find that I could forget about the cancer for hours each day at work. I found that I would be planning for events months out as if I knew I would be able to participate. I was living my life as if the cancer did not exist and I could do about what I wanted and not worry about any limitations the disease might present.
Yesterday I began to have a reality check. My mind was full of negative thoughts about my disease and my prognosis. Who was I kidding?? At any moment this cancer was going to rear it's ugly head and end my euphoric feelings. I had a struggle all day at work..(somehow I was able to function pretty good despite these intervening thoughts) with where I was and what I would be facing in the future. Fear entered the thought process and I began to worry about the unknown things I would face in the days ahead. It took a lot of soul searching and deep thinking to settle this issue I was battling.
I realized that my disease is incurable by modern medical means. Any progress I experienced was a combination of medical treatment (as my Dr. said) and the Good Lord having His hand on my shoulder. The lady I work with pointed out to me today that we are all terminal and it is just a matter of when and by what means we will leave this world. All of us will not live to be full of years and die a peaceful death. Some will die young, some will die by means we deem to be unfair...the point being we all will die, but we do not know when. As a man of faith I am told in the Bible that it is better to die and be with Jesus than to live on this earth. I am also told that I have a purpose and I will not leave this world until that purpose is accomplished. If I desire to not fulfill my purpose for this life then perhaps I will end my time on earth prematurely? I don't know all the answers but I know my days are numbered as are yours. Each of us has an appointed time to die and we cannot control this time. To believe otherwise is to believe that we all live and die by chance. We live longer if we are very careful and don't put ourselves in risky situations (why then do we drive cars?).
So where am I today after all this deep thinking, etc. I went to the Doctor today and he insisted that I attend a cancer support gathering tomorrow to be attended by many survivors and many battling the disease today. He said that I should go if for no other reason than to give others hope because of my progress. He kind of planted a seed in my mind that this may be my purpose in having this disease. To help others who are fighting cancer and to give them hope. The Bible tells us that we may suffer so that we can help others later on who suffer from the same malady. I have always believed this. I have known people who lost a spouse at an early age who later helped others through this same tragedy. I also know that I have heard from people everywhere about my disease and how I am doing etc. and I have blown their minds with my faith and attitude about where I am in this journey. Most are surprised that I am not camped out at the Mayo Clinic or M.D. Anderson in order to get cutting edge medical treatment. I answer them with the fact that I had a peace about my great Doctors and Nurses at Longstreet Clinic and feel they are giving me the best treatment. This peace came from my Father in Heaven who directs my steps and leads me down the path He chooses. My strength and my improvement comes from God. He may use my Doctors and the meds to aid in this, but it is His choice that I have improved. My purpose is to tell others what is happening and to maintain my optimism and my faith even if things turn for the worst.
The bottom line is I really don't know what will happen tomorrow or next week. It truly is a one day at a time situation. I must rejoice each day that I can get up and feel pretty good. I must thank Him that I can go to work and play a meaningful role in our business and be of service to those I work with and for. I should have praise always on the tip of my tongue that I can drive to work and go to a restaurant when I desire...that I can attend church and gather with my friends. I should overflow with happiness that I have been able to spend quality time with my family the past few weeks. As I consider my blessings the fact that I can sit and write this blog (of great length) should bring joy to my being. God has blessed this old man, riddled with cancer and not given a great prognosis. I have been blessed beyond measure. If I should leave this world next week, I can say that I have seen the Lord do a mighty work in my life during this new chapter.
As many have said in the past..."Cancer is the worst thing that has ever happened to my but it is the best thing that has ever happened to me." I can truly say this though I am not sure I would want to face this disease if I had a choice. I can truly say the past three months of this new chapter have been full of a variety of emotions, of discouragement and more importantly it has been full of victories. I say thank you first to the Lord for His hand on me through this ordeal. I thank my family (especially Sharon) for being there for me each moment. For my friends as you have been a great encouragement to me and especially for your prayers that go up for us each day. I thank my employer for standing by us through this time and all those I work with for taking up the slack in my absence and finally to the Doctors and Nurses at Longstreet clinic for caring for me and doing all they can to make me comfortable and give us hope. It will be interesting to see an update three months from now. I have no idea where I will be or how I will be but I think I can say that I will be where God chooses and I will know that it is His will and I will be satisfied that I am doing what I should be to fulfill my purpose for the rest of my days.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Another Hero: Coach Mark Richt
Well I am writing again about one of my passions; college football. I am also writing about one of my favorite coaches; Coach Mark Richt of the Georgia Bulldogs. I have classified Coach Richt as a hero because he understands what is most important in life. He has put Christ first, family second and his career as a coach third. This does not mean that he does a bad job in his career, he does it with excellence, having produced an average of ten wins per year for the past several years.
It is difficult for me to believe but there are some folks here in Georgia that are ready to show him the door because he has not produced a national champion and probably because last year produced only eight wins. I can tell you there are many college teams that would love to have the Bulldogs record the past ten years. Many even blame his devotion to God and family as part of the problem. God help us if we start selecting leaders and don't consider these qualities as extremely important in choosing who will lead us and our families. I think this may have happened in the 08 presidential election and we can see the results of using the wrong criteria to make a crucial decision.
I can tell you that my favorite team (the Arkansas Razorbacks) won only national championship in football (1964), one in basketball (1994) and more that any other team in track and field but I do not live and die by this being the measure of a successful team or coach. I guess I may be archaic in my beliefs, but I want to see what kind of citizens the coach helped produce via his influence. It breaks my heart when I hear of student athletes being arrested. At one time in Arkansas we had so many arrested for shoplifting or theft that it was rumored that the University had purchased a 7-11 for the sole purpose of allowing the athletes a way to legally shoplift merchandise....thankfully this was only a rumor and not true. The point is what the coach does with the young person and what kind of people they are when they leave school are the most important factors when evaluating a coach. Now I will say that if the coach is not capable of getting maximum effort from the players and does not have the skills to effectively coach, then as in any job he should be released.
Now back to Coach Richt; I have lived in Georgia since 2004 and I have come to truly appreciate the Coach of the Bulldogs. I have recently been reading about his family and how they came together and it is an inspiring story. Two of the Richt children are adopted from the Ukraine. The young girl they adopted had a facial birth defect that really effects her appearance. The Richts said that her parents dropped her at an orphanage because of the defect, possible because they could not afford the cost of medical treatment for her condition. The Richt's have helped provide numerous surgeries for this little girl. Coach does not toot his own horn but thankfully others have noted the sacrifice made by this family. They are doing what is right in raising their children and Coach is doing what is best for the young men he coaches.
While it is true that my favorite team are the Razorbacks, you can guarantee when the Georgia Bulldogs are playing anyone else I am a supporter of the Dogs and Coach Richt and his family. I invite you to see the two attached videos about the Richt family. Forgive me for the commercials that may be attached to the videos. I hope you are fired up about the football season (starts Sept 2) as I am.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2008/10/25/mark-richt-family-and-adoption/
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/at-home-with-mark-richt-family/12m40thk
It is difficult for me to believe but there are some folks here in Georgia that are ready to show him the door because he has not produced a national champion and probably because last year produced only eight wins. I can tell you there are many college teams that would love to have the Bulldogs record the past ten years. Many even blame his devotion to God and family as part of the problem. God help us if we start selecting leaders and don't consider these qualities as extremely important in choosing who will lead us and our families. I think this may have happened in the 08 presidential election and we can see the results of using the wrong criteria to make a crucial decision.
I can tell you that my favorite team (the Arkansas Razorbacks) won only national championship in football (1964), one in basketball (1994) and more that any other team in track and field but I do not live and die by this being the measure of a successful team or coach. I guess I may be archaic in my beliefs, but I want to see what kind of citizens the coach helped produce via his influence. It breaks my heart when I hear of student athletes being arrested. At one time in Arkansas we had so many arrested for shoplifting or theft that it was rumored that the University had purchased a 7-11 for the sole purpose of allowing the athletes a way to legally shoplift merchandise....thankfully this was only a rumor and not true. The point is what the coach does with the young person and what kind of people they are when they leave school are the most important factors when evaluating a coach. Now I will say that if the coach is not capable of getting maximum effort from the players and does not have the skills to effectively coach, then as in any job he should be released.
Now back to Coach Richt; I have lived in Georgia since 2004 and I have come to truly appreciate the Coach of the Bulldogs. I have recently been reading about his family and how they came together and it is an inspiring story. Two of the Richt children are adopted from the Ukraine. The young girl they adopted had a facial birth defect that really effects her appearance. The Richts said that her parents dropped her at an orphanage because of the defect, possible because they could not afford the cost of medical treatment for her condition. The Richt's have helped provide numerous surgeries for this little girl. Coach does not toot his own horn but thankfully others have noted the sacrifice made by this family. They are doing what is right in raising their children and Coach is doing what is best for the young men he coaches.
While it is true that my favorite team are the Razorbacks, you can guarantee when the Georgia Bulldogs are playing anyone else I am a supporter of the Dogs and Coach Richt and his family. I invite you to see the two attached videos about the Richt family. Forgive me for the commercials that may be attached to the videos. I hope you are fired up about the football season (starts Sept 2) as I am.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2008/10/25/mark-richt-family-and-adoption/
http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/at-home-with-mark-richt-family/12m40thk
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Deer
I have titled this post "The Deer". The primary reason is that I had been pursuing this deer for over twenty five years. Over the years beginning at about age thirty-five I have enjoyed the pursuit of the trophy deer. I did not grow up hunting though I had a grandfather who supplied meat for his family during the 1930's to 1940's and perhaps I inherited my love for hunting from him? I do owe many hunters over the years a debt of gratitude for working with me on how to hunt and even how to dress a deer. How else could one learn the correct way to hunt unless he has teachers and I was blessed with many. Perhaps the one I remember most was a gentleman from Sonora, TX named George Washington Parks or G.W. to his friends. He was in his seventies when he taught me most of what I know about hunting and I am forever grateful.
Now to the hunt. I was on a company outing with customers from the poultry industry hunting with us in Midway, AL. We hunted a plantation known as "Paco Plantation". Midway is south of Union Springs if that helps you any. The weekend we went it was the peak of the "Rut" but it was also the peak of winter in South Alabama. I would never believe it could get that cold in the south, but believe me with a twenty mile per hour north wind and temps from 10 to 20 degrees F, it can be unbearable. It was my first time to ever hunt with a heater in my shooting house and I have hunted in Northern Arkansas and probably I had better sense when the weather got that cold and we also did not have shooting houses. We hunted Friday evening, Saturday morning and evening and Sunday morning. There were eight hunters on the trip including the owner of our company, Tommy Bagwell and his son Leland. The trip was organized by Fred Cespedes, the best organizer I have met in all my years. I will always be thankful that we were able to make this hunt.
To get to the story now, I mentioned that cold temps. Most of us just hung on for dear life in our stands due to the high winds. No one saw any shooter buck on Friday or Saturday morning. Fast Forward to about 4:00 PM on Saturday evening and the wind stopped blowing and the temperature was bearable. As I recall one of the guys on our hunt had an eight pointer before he could get in his stand. Another was taken shortly thereafter. A total of five hunters had shooter bucks harvested by 5:00 PM or so. One of the guys had a fourteen pointer. My deer was officially an eleven pointer though many have looked at the mount and think it was a twelve or thirteen pointer. We had the greatest one hour of hunting I have ever experienced. I have hunted in Texas on several occasions and while we took several deer we never had the quality we had on this hunt. I do not have a quality photo of all the deer but believe me, five bucks eight point or larger in one hour is unheard of and we were all blessed to have been a part of the hunt.
An interesting thing about my deer is (you may not believe what I am about to share) that the night before I had a dream and the very situation was in my dream. The deer came out of the woods one hundred fifty yards away and you did not need binoculars to know if he was a shooter. I did not do a lot other than be at the right place at the right time. I harvested this deer with one shot (I'll admit not exactly where I aimed). I shot this deer with an my first deer rifle (a 300 Savage saddle gun). This gun is an old gun with lever action. It is the same gun my son and I both used to take our first deer. I had a 7 mm magnum that would have perhaps been a better gun for this situation, but I felt the one I used was very appropriate as it could be my last deer I will take. Needless to say it was quite a few minutes before I could even move or go to the deer. My heart was beating non-stop and it was one of the thrills of my lifetime.
Another interesting fact is that this deer was probably only three and one-half years old according to the taxidermist (more about him later). Kind of in the prime of his life. Believe it or not at age 58 when I harvested this deer, I felt like I was also in the prime of my life. It was as if we were brought together for this event. Looking back I had some symptoms of my disease even then and my doctor confirmed this during a visit recently.
I felt a real kinship with this deer and felt that God was truly in this situation and I thank Him for caring so much about me that He helped me fulfill one of my life's goals. When I picked up the mount, the taxidermist, Chris Fortner of Fortner Taxidermy 770-480-5241 or fortnertaxidermy.com and I had a great visit. I had called him earlier and told him my health situation and told him that he might want to get the mount done pretty quickly. When I met Chris his work was tremendous. He was a great Christian guy and he said his prayer was that I would be back again this year with another deer for mounting and he genuinely meant what he said. We had a great visit and again I think God ordained our meeting.
I have spent way too much time on this story but it was one of the really important events of my life...almost up there with my children's birth's etc. (just kidding). I have tried to include a photo of the mount and I urge you to use Chris if the need arises. I also want to thank all the guys on the hunt and the folks at Paco for making us all comfortable during the tough weather. I must not fail to mention that Paco has nice rooms, great food service and plenty of deer. The ladies who prepared our meals knew how to cook deer meat. It was the best venison this old hunter ever tasted and I have tasted a lot. The owners are right there with you and are great people. You can google Paco Plantation for more info. If you made it all the way to the end, God bless you as I know it must have been a chore. I can't seem to finish a good story.
Doug
Now to the hunt. I was on a company outing with customers from the poultry industry hunting with us in Midway, AL. We hunted a plantation known as "Paco Plantation". Midway is south of Union Springs if that helps you any. The weekend we went it was the peak of the "Rut" but it was also the peak of winter in South Alabama. I would never believe it could get that cold in the south, but believe me with a twenty mile per hour north wind and temps from 10 to 20 degrees F, it can be unbearable. It was my first time to ever hunt with a heater in my shooting house and I have hunted in Northern Arkansas and probably I had better sense when the weather got that cold and we also did not have shooting houses. We hunted Friday evening, Saturday morning and evening and Sunday morning. There were eight hunters on the trip including the owner of our company, Tommy Bagwell and his son Leland. The trip was organized by Fred Cespedes, the best organizer I have met in all my years. I will always be thankful that we were able to make this hunt.
To get to the story now, I mentioned that cold temps. Most of us just hung on for dear life in our stands due to the high winds. No one saw any shooter buck on Friday or Saturday morning. Fast Forward to about 4:00 PM on Saturday evening and the wind stopped blowing and the temperature was bearable. As I recall one of the guys on our hunt had an eight pointer before he could get in his stand. Another was taken shortly thereafter. A total of five hunters had shooter bucks harvested by 5:00 PM or so. One of the guys had a fourteen pointer. My deer was officially an eleven pointer though many have looked at the mount and think it was a twelve or thirteen pointer. We had the greatest one hour of hunting I have ever experienced. I have hunted in Texas on several occasions and while we took several deer we never had the quality we had on this hunt. I do not have a quality photo of all the deer but believe me, five bucks eight point or larger in one hour is unheard of and we were all blessed to have been a part of the hunt.
An interesting thing about my deer is (you may not believe what I am about to share) that the night before I had a dream and the very situation was in my dream. The deer came out of the woods one hundred fifty yards away and you did not need binoculars to know if he was a shooter. I did not do a lot other than be at the right place at the right time. I harvested this deer with one shot (I'll admit not exactly where I aimed). I shot this deer with an my first deer rifle (a 300 Savage saddle gun). This gun is an old gun with lever action. It is the same gun my son and I both used to take our first deer. I had a 7 mm magnum that would have perhaps been a better gun for this situation, but I felt the one I used was very appropriate as it could be my last deer I will take. Needless to say it was quite a few minutes before I could even move or go to the deer. My heart was beating non-stop and it was one of the thrills of my lifetime.
Another interesting fact is that this deer was probably only three and one-half years old according to the taxidermist (more about him later). Kind of in the prime of his life. Believe it or not at age 58 when I harvested this deer, I felt like I was also in the prime of my life. It was as if we were brought together for this event. Looking back I had some symptoms of my disease even then and my doctor confirmed this during a visit recently.
I felt a real kinship with this deer and felt that God was truly in this situation and I thank Him for caring so much about me that He helped me fulfill one of my life's goals. When I picked up the mount, the taxidermist, Chris Fortner of Fortner Taxidermy 770-480-5241 or fortnertaxidermy.com and I had a great visit. I had called him earlier and told him my health situation and told him that he might want to get the mount done pretty quickly. When I met Chris his work was tremendous. He was a great Christian guy and he said his prayer was that I would be back again this year with another deer for mounting and he genuinely meant what he said. We had a great visit and again I think God ordained our meeting.
I have spent way too much time on this story but it was one of the really important events of my life...almost up there with my children's birth's etc. (just kidding). I have tried to include a photo of the mount and I urge you to use Chris if the need arises. I also want to thank all the guys on the hunt and the folks at Paco for making us all comfortable during the tough weather. I must not fail to mention that Paco has nice rooms, great food service and plenty of deer. The ladies who prepared our meals knew how to cook deer meat. It was the best venison this old hunter ever tasted and I have tasted a lot. The owners are right there with you and are great people. You can google Paco Plantation for more info. If you made it all the way to the end, God bless you as I know it must have been a chore. I can't seem to finish a good story.
Doug
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